sarcastic one liners

• I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

• If I throw a stick, will you leave?

• Does your train of thought have a caboose?

• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

• See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

• Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

• A woman's favorite position is CEO.

• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

• Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

• Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

• Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

• Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

• Never trust a dog to watch your food.

• Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

• If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

• You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.